The lullaby

S can't sing.I mean he is literally tone deaf. So clearly, I'm in charge, when it comes to making our baby sleep. Considering that I can sing reasonably well, V is used my lullaby. Till one day, my vocal chords gave way. In stepped the dad, and started singing. It didn't sound anything like the usual lullaby I sing to v. Well, S claimed that it was just a remix version of the original. I cringed in fear hoping to hear a howl which meant, V wouldn't sleep for the next 2 hours. But, to both our surprises he slept through the remix version of the lullaby. I was relieved but S was ecstatic. I mean he went ballistic with excitement. Even if it meant one audience, he had found an audience at last. He gushed and gleamed. 

Thus started a regular feature of S putting V to bed. The song was always the same but sometime it was a pop version, sometimes instrumental and sometimes remixed. S started adding sound effects to his song like yawns, sniffs and grunts. It often put S to sleep too along with V, only I couldn't sleep with that lullaby. On a rare occasion I would get to hear a glimpse of what the original sounded like. But what the hell. No ones complaining as long as V is sleeping. 

Now S has got so carried away with his found love for singing that he hums the lullaby even while working, while reading . Because of this I find myself singing this lullaby in my head all the time, in the car, when I pee, even in my sleep. S can't get enough of an incident that happened one night as I was haunted by versions of this song. 

 I always pat V as he drifts to sleep while singing the lullaby . It so happened that one night I got up in the middle of the night humming the song and started patting S instead, which actually woke him up then put him to sleep. 

The last ray of hope left that can relieve me from my misery is for V to get used to another lullaby but that ain't happening in the near future.

Steve Jobs Biography - Walter Isaacson Book Review

Eccentric. sharp tongued, perfectionist, control freak and a genius. Steve Jobs was all this and much more. There were so many shades to his personality that even after reading 600 pages of his biography, I don't think I've fully understood the layers to his personality

From cheating on his best friend, to stealing and claiming other peoples ideas as his own, Steve Jobs is the perfect example of how not all successful men are nice guys. On one hand he would abandon his own child and on the other he would name a computer after her. It's simply amazing to read how his eccentricity almost destroyed him and when channelised in the right direction it created magic.

Steve Jobs , personally chose Walter Isaacson (acclaimed biography writer of Albert Einstein and managing editor of the TIME) to write his biography. After much resistance Walter Isaacson relented and result is for all of us to read. What makes this book unputdownable is the timing of its release. Rarely has a biographies release been so close to the death of the subject. This makes it even more enjoyable to read as the events are fresh in our memory.

The book is a great insight into Jobs. Knowing his personality to control things, its quite unbelievable that he did not try to control the matter in this book and gave a free rein to the author. He also chose not to read the book as he knew that it would not picture him as Mr Nice Guy and that would not go down well with him.

But apart from the fact that he was a jerk, no one can take credit away from him for the revolutionary products he created. For all the technocrats out there, who believe in the open approach to software, Steve Jobs mastered the integrated approach of marrying hardware with software and made it one of the most marketable and successful product in history. He proved to the world that, "People who are serious about hardware should make their own software". This is not an easy thing to achieve and only an eccentric guy like Steve Jobs could do it.

He may have lived a short life but it was more fulfilling than many who live long. As Steve Jobs said "Your time is limited, so don't waste it living someone else's life. Don't be trapped by dogma - which is living with the results of other people's thinking. Don't let the noise of other's opinions drown out your own inner voice. And most important, have the courage to follow your heart and intuition. They somehow already know what you truly want to become. Everything else is secondary." Rest in peace Steve Jobs your work has immortalized you.

Pasta Salad

Its been two weeks since the new year has kicked in and as always the resolution is always to eat better and be fitter. This time it's an even bigger challenge for me since I am lactating. On one side there are the hunger pangs and on the other its the whole world around you that warns you against dieting, as it will affect lactation. So I have tried hard to find a way around this one. Firstly I try to eat my dinners early and secondly I eat extremely healthy in the evenings. Like wholesome salads with soups, lentil stews, egg whites, grains and of course lots of vegetables.

This pasta salad I made had a nutritional punch to it. It is very popular in the Southern Italian region of Puglia. The original recipe was made with Arugula. This salad is quite filling and I had it with soup. It has been adapted from Martha Shulman's recipe.

Ingredients:

• 1 pint cherry tomatoes, halved
• 4 garlic pieces minced
• Salt to taste
• 1 teaspoon balsamic vinegar
• 2 cups red cabbage coarsely chopped
• 1 teaspoon basil (tulsi)
• 2 tablespoon extra virgin olive oil
• ¾ lbs. penne or fusille or farfalle or orecchiette
• ¼ cup parmigiano reggiano or parmesan

Directions:

1. Combine cherry tomatoes, garlic, salt, balsamic vinegar,basil, red cabbage, and olive oil in a wide bowl. Let sit for 15 minutes. Taste and adjust seasonings.

2. Meanwhile, bring a large pot to boil. Add a generous amount of salt and pasta. Cook till pasta can be cut by a spoon into halves.

3. Drain toss with the mixture , sprinkle on the cheese and serve

(Serves 2)

Nutritional Information:

407 calories; calories from fat 92; total fat: 10.3g; saturated fat 2.0g; cholesterol 6mg; sodium 140mg; total carbohydrates 67.4g; dietary fiber 4.0g; sugars 3.7g; protein 13.9g

So here's to healthy eating and healthy living

Surat Nu Jaman

Somewhere within the rustic bylanes and dusty roads of an old walled city lies a "lariwala" (hand cart) by the name of Jalaram Locho stall. Just like Kareena Kapoor in 3 Idiots aptly described the names of farsan as some thing dangerous, the mere mention of "Locho" made me cringe. It literally means "trouble" in Gujarati. But wait till you get a taste of this savoury version of Khaman, and you will binge more than you cringe.

Surat, the diamond city of India is well known for its culinary delights. There is an age old saying "Surat nu jaman ane kaashi nu maran" which means Eat in Surat and Die in Kashi for an the ultimate experience of the soul.

Khaman Dhoklas association with Gujarati cuisine is well known, but what are lesser known are its variants. Whether Locho (apparently it has 32 variations) or Raswala Khaman, this farsan has achieved gastronomical heights with its different steaming techniques, topped with different spices, onions and chutneys. If you think that this is a poor man's meal and will not be favoured by the sushi eating elite you are sadly mistaken. Surtis are constantly innovating with food and they have not left their Khaman in this aspect.Gopal Khaman House in Macharpura Kharadi Sheri, opposite the Surat Railway station offers you an Italian version of this delicacy topped with macaroni and cheese. Surti Farsan Mart, based in California has achieved its silver jubilee and is worth millions. It delivers Surti khaman at your doorstep. They live by their philosophy that "You can take a Surti away from Surat but you cannot take away Khaman from a Surti".

For those who are unaware of what Khaman is, Khaman is made by soaking gram dal for four hours, grinding it coarsely and then leaving it to ferment for eight hours. A ginger and chilli paste, soda bi-carb, turmeric and salt are added before the batter is steamed. The trick lies in the steaming.

The culinary quest of Surat does not end with Khaman , infact that is only the beginning. (typically farsan is had before a meal). Wait till you actually have a Surti meal. From "Oondhiya" to "Surti Dal" to "Ponkh", I could totally get used to a life meant to eat here.

The best time to visit Surat is winter as Oondhiya to Ponkh are all available during this time. Ponkh is roasted millet grown only in this part of the world. It's available only from November through February (though hybrid farming has made a difference) which is why the kite-flying season sees a flourish of ponkh-chaat and various snacks made from ponkh.

The Surti Oondhiya is a vegetable that is best described in this poem below that I have picked from the net. Such is the craze for Surti food that people have written an Ode to Oondhiya,

O sweet creatures of Katargaams creeper vine.
You,the green papdi,tender as one would ever find,
With fragrance that lingers on the fingers that string you,
Surrounded in the richness of yam, plantains, potatoes, sakariyas, stuffed wild brinjals and what have you.
Enriched in flavour by sesame oil and green garlic,
Prepared on the sim,marinated in chilli ginger paste;
With supple fenugreek dumplings that enhance your taste.
While asafoetida and ajwain are tempered to tease,
As taste buds tuck in desiccated coconut and coriander, thoroughly pleased.
The epitome of Tapti cooking,a gourmet's delight,an art to achieve,an exotic treat.
A taste impossible to beat... here is to you,O Surti Undhiyu!

Getting back to normal

What is it that I would never wish for ?

Hmmm. Well! I would never wish to lose my independence, be fat, unattractive, depressed.

Yet motherhood brings all these things with it. If there has ever been a need to read self help books it is most required now . Being positive mentally has never been so much effort.

It has been said many times, the birth of a child changes a lot of things. Now that I'm experiencing it first hand, I agree 100%. From a full time employee in the finance field , I have been promoted to being a full time mom .I call it a promotion primarily because being a mom is so not easy . I have a new found respect for all those women who are home makers. But apart from this professional shift, motherhood brings about changes socially, mentally and of course physically. The work that a mother puts in for her child in the first couple of months is most un rewarding. This is because the child for the first initial months is expressionless . There is no definite recognition of the mother by the child, even if he smiles which is rare it's in his sleep . If you are successful in making him sleep once there is no guarantee you will be successful the next time.

No wonder doctors educate, especially working women about post partum depression. It truly requires an extra bout of effort to get back to doing the things I used to do. But it is my resolve that every day, even if it is for just a few minutes I will try and do the things I used to do, like writing my blog. It took me 2 months to get back to it, hopefully I'll be more consistent going forward.

On the flip side, motherhood is not all bad news, it's definitely a great feeling to hold your little one and see him grow. The feeling in fact is so over whelming that forgetting yourself is that much more easy and getting back to normal is that much more difficult.

I just hope and pray, now that I have my body back, I can take some time out every day to exercise, get back to my fit self, and keep myself mentally stimulated. At the end of the day a fit and mentally alert mom will raise her child much more effectively than a drained out, sleep deprived, unhealthy mom.

"Lets take the long way home" - Book Review

"It's an old old story: I had a friend and we shared everything , and then she died and so we shared that, too. "

This is how Gail Caldwell starts her memoir on friendship; "Lets take the long way home." Winner of Pulitzer prize for non-fiction, the book is a true account on the bond of friendship between 2 women. They meet over their dogs , they both have their own share of demons , and skeletons in the closet, which is what makes them both very cautious towards each other. From disparate back grounds, with strikingly emotional similarities these 2 women find an emotional bond with each other that is more profound then anything anyone has ever seen or read. Gail loses her friend Caroline to cancer , and yes she grieves her , and yes she pines for her, and yes she becomes quite a zombie but she moves on and that according to me is the bravest thing.

Reading the first line of the book got me hooked but what made me stay hooked through out was Gail Caldwell honest, candid and fearless memoir. There is no doubt that she really loved her friend and had immense respect for her. Her silent acknowledgements are a testament to it. After a certain age in life, we all would like a surreal, mature relationship with someone with whom the effort to explain yourself is not required, alot is understood with the eyes, alot is spoken with gestures and the comfort of silence is not misconstrued as lack of communication. Fortunate are those who already are in such a relationship and for those who aspire it please read this book .

On a more personal note, a dear friend of mine recently left Hyd to pursue her fledgling career in Mumbai. N you will be sorely missed and somewhere down the line I would love to share this kind of friendship with you many many years down the line. So this post is for you N. "Let's take the long way home"

There are some lovely quotes in this book that I would like to share and preserve in this entry

" The golden moments in the stream of life rush past usand we see nothing but sand; the angels come to visit us,

and we only know them when they are gone. "-George Eliot

"According to the rule book, men had sports and women had talking;
Caroline and I cultivated both"
- Gail Caldwell.

Everything about death is a chiche , untill you are in it "- Gail Caldwell

"What they never tell you about grief is that missing someone us the simple part"
- Gail Caldwell

"I wanted the warmth if a spontaneous connection, and the freedom to be left alone"
-Gail Caldwell

"I'm afraid that know one will love me again". He leaned toward me with a smile of great kindness on his face, his hands clasped on front of him. "Don't you know?", he asked gently "The flaw is the thing we love."
- Gail Caldwell

"Absence is a house so vast that inside you will pass through its walls and hang pictures on the air" - Pablo Neruda

Joyfear

As I near my impending motherhood , I am filled with a mixture of joy and fear , collectively calling it "Joyfear" . I think its a beautiful word. This mixture of intense happiness and anxiety at the same time is what makes life so livable. But as I experience this utter joy of holding something that is my own for the first time I'd like to take some time introspecting over the fear aspect.

A husband and wife who are expecting their first child have both different up bringing and value systems which somehow converge with the birth of a new one. The fact that S and me have had completely different kinds of parents,not alike in anyway makes the whole process even more intriguing , anxiety prone and in many ways exciting.

So the big question is; "What kind of parent would we like to be?" I know of parents who have gone out of their way to protect and nurture their child in every step of the way, even when the child could have done some things on his/her own. And I also know of parents who decided to draw the line somewhere, make the child independent by letting him/her take certain important steps in life on his/her own and rise above their own mistakes. The child in the first example, lives with his parents and is gratified by his parents protective overtures. He feels obligated to be there for them and take care of them. The child in the second example has taken a flight of his own, he lives in a nuclear family and also feels grateful that his parents taught him how to live on his own and fight his battles on his own. There is no doubt of the fact that the love he shares for his parents is equally unconditional .

As a parent, my instincts tell me that I should do my duty of raising a responsible, fine individual with no expectation up my sleeve. Teach the child to fight his/her own battles, make his/her decisions without regret and at the end of the day chart his/her course of life without any burden ,pressure, expectation from us. Clearly I am more inclined to being the 2nd kind of parent, atleast as of now. I don't think there are any rights and wrongs here. As long as I make sure I raise my child with limitless opportunities and not bound him/her in expectation of being with me always I would be happy in which ever path he/she chooses.

Its definitely a long way to go before I reach this threshold in life but since I have a luxury of ruminating about it now might as well pen it down. I also write this to implore parents all over to share their beautiful insights and experiences about this wonderful joyfear of raising your precious one.